It was a clear and crisp fall morning on November 23rd when I walked into the office to talk to my boss. I had left my formal letter of resignation and a personal note regarding the resignation on his desk that Friday afternoon after he had left the office for the weekend. From the Friday that I left the letter and note until just before stepping into his office that morning, my stomach was filled with hyperactive butterflies dancing around. I wasn’t scared, I was excited. I felt free. I felt like everything I wanted for myself was on the other side of this waiting excitedly to come into my existence. It felt good- like this spiritual leap of faith was the right move.
I want security with a heaping helping of expansion, adventure and passion.
The conversation was short and felt like ease and peace. He didn’t implore heavily and expressed that even though he was sad for me to leave, he would always support me in doing what I felt was best for myself. He asked if I had another job lined up and I was honest with him. I told him that I didn’t. He said that I was brave and that alone told him that this choice was very important to me. He expressed again that he would help me in any way that he could. I cried tears of gratitude because my 5.5 years working there and with him weren’t bad and even with me leaving, he was still offering his help.
So, who would want to leave a secure job with a great boss and had been there for over 5 years? Isn’t that what most dream of? Job security? A great boss? I used to want that but then I realized what I want is more than just security. I want security with a heaping helping of expansion, adventure and passion. I want to be passionate about what I’m doing and contributing. I want to say to myself, “I love my job and what I’m doing”. I didn’t hate my job and what I was doing but I didn’t love my job, what I was doing and how I was (or wasn’t) progressing professionally. I was so much more than what I was doing.
I resigned because there are more things I am meant to do than just work there forever. In two separate spiritual readings I received, I was told that my job [that I resigned from] was a place that I could stay at for a very long time but they never revealed me being happy professionally there or truly expanding the way I want to. I didn’t think that was a coincidence. I have big goals and dreams, bigger than it could accommodate. I’m thankful that this job was a part of my journey and now this ride at the amusement park is over and it’s time to get off and hop onto the next one.
My boss wasn’t a mentor me. I am not saying that in an emotional or negative way, I’m stating a neutral fact. He was a very busy high level executive and once I had my footing and his trust, he let me drive. I learned a lot from him through observing him and simply working alongside of him. I learned some great things to do and practice and also some things that I wouldn’t want to do or practice. From him, I observed passion within a career. He loves what he’s doing- it’s a substance free high for him. I learned from him the ease in approaching challenges head on instead of letting them linger and grow in strength. I want that passion and zeal in my career. That is what I resigned to make space for.
I want to be passionate about what I’m doing and contributing. I want to say to myself, “I love my job and what I’m doing”.
So what’s next? A job at Google! Lol. That would be really dope seeing as how they represent what I want my next job to feel like: ease, fun and expansion. I know that I have amassed some amazing skills and experience that can greatly serve another organization while affording me the opportunity to continue growing personally, professionally and creatively. I’m excited for this new job that I have made space for and allowed into my existence.
I’m so excited, I even bought a dress (that I wasn’t even in the Gap for) that I have dubbed as my “interview dress” for this job that is coming into my existence. I’ve been applying to job postings that sound interesting and my skills are a match for. I’ve got some really good interview questions that will have the interviewer engaged. I’ve also started visualizing this job, how the interview goes and the offer letter with the salary that I want. It’s so fun and feels incredibly good. I know that what I want exists and I’m not tied to the minute specifics but I am locked into the feelings I want for it to have.
-this leap is me making space for that life and career that I want.
I’m excited to continue this adventure that I call my life. I’ve never deliberately left another job without another lined up but sometimes you have to take intuitive chances when you feel them pushing. There’s a reason. I will have the life that I want for myself and this leap is me making space for that life and career that I want. God-the Universe has my back and supports me in this choice. Let’s crack open this next chapter and continue creating magic.